When a Cenobite presents you with a deal, pass on the offer, no matter how good it sounds. Even if they promise you untold insights into life, love, knowledge, sensation, power, or resurrection—all you have to do is pick one—choose none of them, and slowly back out of the room. No matter which option you select, the result will be the same. In all likelihood, every choice results in you being tortured horrifically in ways you couldn’t imagine. Your skin will be flayed and arranged into elaborate designs, your flesh will be penetrated by various metal rods and wires, and some of your insides will be brought outside. That happens when you try to bargain with one of the interdimensional perverts from Hellraiser. The sadomasochistic Cenobites return to the (small) screen in David Bruckner’s new film, representing this long-running franchise’s first entry to warrant attention in years. The remake may recast and redesign the hellish pleasure fiends for a new generation of horror buffs, but the Cenobites remain up to their old tricks.

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